Management guru Peter Drucker once said that the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. Although the exact figures aren’t agreed upon, most researchers agree that what we say (verbal communication) alone makes up less than 10% of our message, with the receiver taking the rest from non-verbal cues. These cues include kinesics(body language),paralinguistics(vocal nonverbal cues), chronemics(time conveying meaning), objectics(physical objects), oculesics(eye contact), haptics(touch), and proxemics(space and distance).
Sue Shellenbarger recently posted an article on the Wall Street Journal website, titled “For Teens, Has Texting Replaced Talking?” detailing how her kids spend most of their time texting. From the invention of the telegraph, to the everyday use of email and text messaging, we have introduced increasingly elaborate means of communicating with one another. However, it seems that as a result of this, we are in reality cutting down on communication. With increasing use of technology, most of our communication takes the form of the written word alone. Even in the same office, two colleagues who are seated right next to each other will be more likely to send instant messages or emails, rather than talking face-to-face. With the elimination of the interaction between two people, they are unable to observe any non-verbal cues the other may display. This eliminates much of the possible discussion that would otherwise occur. For example, a subordinate may agree with the boss because he doesn’t want to appear uncooperative, but have concerns about a scheme. With face-to-face interaction, the boss can hear the hesitation in his voice (paralingsuistic), and view his less than exuberant enthusiasm about the project (kinesics), allowing him to solicit the employee's opinion.
Our ever more reliance on technology to communicate may result in an eventual inability to interpret such nonverbal cues. We have not yet entirely substituted text messages and emails for face-to-face communication, or even split them 50-50, but in time to come such forms of communication will likely take precedence. Although Ms Shellenbarger doesn’t believe that texting affects one’s ability to read non-verbal cues, she admits that it’s annoying when people try to text and talk to you at the same time. This is in fact an example of how such people don’t realize the non-verbal cues that they’re sending; in this case, ‘I don’t care enough to concentrate on just talking to you’.
References
Sue Shellenbarger, 'Have we lost our ability to communicate?', http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/2009/09/03/for-teens-has-texting-replaced-talking/
Hi Rambler! i agree wholeheartedly that it is distracting to be talking to someone who is constantly texting away with the mobile phone! I have once told a friend off for doing that to me when she's out with me. I do not care if it hurt our relationship, but i felt that i was not given the respect and attention for when i was conversing with her.
ReplyDeleteAnd yea. When i was working in my company, i found it highly amusing when i see my colleagues communicating via emails or telephone even when they are just seated opposite each other. With such lazy attitude and over-relaince on technology, our ability to communicate non-verbally will dimiish. But in order to work on our weakness, we would need to be aware of the unfortunate state that we are in.
I am thus thankful that we are studying this Communciation module today, to learn more about the dire state of communication that we have to date!
Hi Grace. :)
ReplyDeleteUsing just the written word to communicate can result in miscommunication. I watched an animated feature where one character left another the note, but she interpreted in negatively, when he meant it to be positive. Without the element of nonverbal communication, its definitely easier to misinterpret a message.
Thank you both for your comments. Communication today has evolved to the extent that we can communicate with people halfway around the world while sitting in our own living room. Yet, as our relationship with people miles away improve, how is our relationship with the people who are physically next to us? Even though we may live under the same roof with our parents, we may just have a better relationship with the people we're playing online games with, or instant messaging.
ReplyDeleteAs for miscommunication, I have experienced situations where my emails were replied in a manner different from what I expected. Even though I try my best to craft it as unambiguously as possible, I still get surprised with answers unrelated to what I meant.
The thing is, new tech enroaches on every corner of our lives. Take this blog as eg. Even while u r talkin abt how communication best takes the form of verbal n nonverbal, ur blog is all abt words only.
ReplyDelete